


just like titanic (not really)

by simplyverstappen



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cruise Ship, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Getting Together, Hulk and Kevin are just really bad at flirting, Idiots in Love, M/M, and a little bit oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25974616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplyverstappen/pseuds/simplyverstappen
Summary: “One would think being stuck on a cruise ship for several months together makes them talk”, Lando points out dryly, “or at least fuck. But so far all they’ve done is glare at each other and steal each other’s pastries - you know, the ones Romain always makes for us each week. And then they yell at each other afterwards, blaming each other - it’s ridiculous.”
Relationships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen, Nico Hulkenberg/Kevin Magnussen
Comments: 34
Kudos: 167





	just like titanic (not really)

**Author's Note:**

> An anon sent me this prompt on tumblr: _Kevin and Nico H. both being in love with the other, but they're terrible at picking up (one example "suck my balls honey"). The others decided that enough, it's enough and decided to play matchmaker to help them._
> 
> And you know, I love aus. And have literally no self-control. And for whatever reason, my brain was like "imagine them working on a cruise ship" and well, here we are lmao 
> 
> It's not "enemies to lovers" but Kevin and Hulk- look, it's complicated skdskdj
> 
> I had so much fun writing this and coming up with the setting and I hope you'll like it as well! 💛

“This is so ridiculous”, Max mutters and Lando nods, following his gaze and shaking his head when he sees what Max is looking at. Or rather who. “Yep. But it’s like this for weeks now and they’re both as dumb as a piece of bread.”

“I think even bread is smarter than them”, Max mumbles and Daniel grins.

“I can’t believe they don’t get it, they’re so fucking _oblivious_ ”, he comments and all three stare at Hulk and Kevin who are at the other end of the room. They keep stealing glances at each other and Daniel is right: they’re both incredibly oblivious. They’re ignoring each other though, not talking with each other, pretending the other one doesn’t exist. 

They ‘hate’ each other after all.

Max, who’s working behind the bar, mixes a cocktail for a guest before going back to Lando and Daniel, both still staring at their fellow crew members. Kevin normally doesn’t even work up here, he’s a mechanic.

“One would think being stuck on a cruise ship for several months together makes them talk”, Lando points out dryly, “or at least fuck. But so far all they’ve done is glare at each other and steal each other’s pastries - you know, the ones Romain always makes for us each week. And then they yell at each other afterwards, blaming each other - it’s ridiculous.”

“Oh, they’ve also insulted each other”, Dan throws in and adds a quick “thanks Maxy” when Max wordlessly hands him a whiskey, giving him a warm smile. “Like Romain complained lately that Kevin said ‘suck my balls honey’ to Hulk. In the restaurant. In front of all the guests. He was shouting.”

“Well, did he?”

“Did what.”

“Suck his balls.” Lando grins and while Max rolls his eyes, taking care of another guest, Daniel starts laughing. “No, obviously not. You know how they are. But Romain was furious and kept complaining to Seb.”

Max holds back a smile while mixing a Gin Tonic - they all love Romain, their maitre d’ hotel. And they love his food. But Romain also loves to complain about either people not appreciating his food (especially children) or about his colleagues. If you asked Max, Romain is a bit of a drama queen. Or just very French. Max doesn’t really know if there’s a difference. 

Seb is working as a cruise director on the ship, meaning he’s responsible for nearly everything and everyone - at least everything entertainment- and guest-related - and while they all love him dearly (and would be pretty lost without him) he’s also quite stressed most of the time.

And done with Romain.

Max can’t blame him, to be honest. 

Lando slides off his barstool and reaches for his camera which he always carries around so he can take a few pictures of the guests in the casino - while Hulk belongs to the casino staff, working as a Dealer, Lando is the ship’s photographer and he gives them a quick smile. “See you tomorrow I guess.” 

He disappears in the crowd, a couple immediately asking if he can take a picture of them and Lando gives them a bright smile before positioning them. 

“I heard he has a crush on Charles.” Daniel smirks, watching Lando easily move on through all the people after he took the picture and Max raises his eyebrows. “ _Lando_?! On _Charles_?!”

Charles Leclerc is the dance instructor on the ship, one of their closest friends (even though Max is close to throwing Charles overboard every other week and really, he's just close friends with Charles because of Lando. And Alex. And George.) and Dan shrugs. “Yeah. Saw him watching Charles doing a few classes lately and he keeps bringing him up in nearly every conversation. And I mean, come on, they’re _obvious_.”

“Oh boy”, Max mumbles and Daniel laughs, running a hand through his dark curls. “Yeah but I mean Charles seems to like him too. And they’re friends, they’ve been exploring Havana together when we stopped in Cuba last week.”

Max knows that last part, he saw the pictures on Lando’s Instagram and his best friend even told him about it - Max just didn’t connect Lando’s excitement with Charles. 

“Then they’re at least better than Hulk and Kevin.” Max snorts, his gaze wandering back to the two and he rolls his eyes when he sees Kevin leaving, Hulk staring, not so subtly, after him. “They’re insufferable.”

“Not everyone can be couple goals like us, babe.” Dan shrugs and Max subtly flips him off, not able to hold back his grin though. Daniel just winks at him before downing his drink, getting up. “I’m going to bed, should I wait for you?”

“You don’t have to.” Max smiles, knowing Daniel will wait anyway and he squeezes his hand quickly - they don’t kiss in public. They’re at work - or Max is at least - and they’re professionals after all. Dan blows him a kiss before leaving and Max looks after him, a small smile on his face.

He never thought he’d work on a cruise ship one day - and finding the love of his life while doing so. But taking the job as a bartender was the best decision he has ever made and while he's sometimes really done, he loves his job most of the time. Loves meeting so many different people from so many countries, loves listening to their stories and he loves travelling the world. 

They’re away from home for nine months of the year and he really loves his crew. Especially Daniel.

The Australian is the hotel manager of the ship and they’ve clicked immediately after they’ve met at the port in Miami in February 2018, kissing for the first time at the beach in Aruba two years ago and they’ve been inseparable since then.

The crew is Max’s family away from home and he always misses them a lot when he’s back in the Netherlands during the three months they’re not sailing around the world. He spent two of these months with Daniel in Australia last year though, visiting his boyfriend’s family which made it a bit better but he still missed the ship.  
Missed the chaos and the drama and the gossip and the people and the early mornings and the days on sea and all the little things that normally drive him insane. 

As glad as he is to be on land for a longer period, in the end, they all always come back, excited for the new season and for what’s waiting for them. 

Especially since apparently Hulk seems to have a thing for one of their new mechanics and Max watches Hulk deal a few elderly ladies some cards, a grin on his face. He’s good with people normally - well, except your name is Kevin apparently. 

Max makes himself a mental note to talk to his friend before he goes back to work, mixing an elderly gentleman a Gin Tonic. 

-

“So apparently Hulk ‘accidentally’ pushed Kevin into the pool”, Alex tells them two days later, the receptionist running a hand through his hair while leaning on the counter and Max nearly chokes on his water laughing.

Lando and he are having a bit of free time right now, they’ve just finished lunch and decided to visit Alex - if anyone knows everything about everybody on this ship it’s Alex. And Seb, but it’s harder to get Seb to talk than Alex.

One might think Max knows quite a lot as well (he’s a bartender after all) but unfortunately, he only gets to know about their guests’ secrets. The staff doesn’t get drunk that often with him, which is, if you asked Max, a real pity. 

“Did your boyfriend tell you that?” Lando gives Alex an innocent smile and while Max grins, Alex blushes deeply. “I do not- what- he- George is not my boyfriend!”

“Hmm, which is a shame”, Max comments, smirking. “You’ve been thirsting over that guy constantly since he started working here as a lifeguard last year.”

“Yeah, you keep staring at him every time we’re at the pool”, Lando adds and Alex subtly flips them off. “He- it’s not my fault he keeps running around shirtless all the time!”

“Because that’s literally his job”, Max says dryly. “He’s a lifeguard. He has to get into the water to potentially save people from drowning.”

“Can we stop distracting?” Alex rolls his eyes and leans back, running a hand through his hair. “I thought we’re talking about Hulk and Kevin and not George and I.”

“Right, right, sorry.” Lando grins and he takes Max’s water bottle from his hand, ignoring his protest while taking a sip. “So Hulk pushed him in the pool? Why?!”

“Apparently it was an accident - he said he slipped - and Kevin was fuming.” Alex frowns before grinning slightly. “But George also said that there was a lot of sexual tension between them. He made Hulk leave before they could insult each other in front of the guests again. But Kevin was wearing a white T-Shirt and Hulk kept staring.”

“Jesus Christ, at this point they should just fuck it out.” Max rolls his eyes and Lando nods. “It’s getting ridiculous. Maybe we should pull a Titanic?" 

"There are no icebergs in the North Atlantic, Lando." 

"Hey, climate change is real, we never know!"

"We really don't want to repeat Titanic", Alex says dryly but Lando grins, shrugging. "It is a bit like the movie though - well, not really. But they fell in love on a ship and so did Hulk and Kevin!"

"Have you ever _seen_ Titanic, Lando?!" Max stares at him while Alex laughs and Lando shakes his head, an earnest look in his eyes. "No, I just know it's a sad movie and I didn't want to cry."

"Jeepers", Max mumbles and Alex grins. "Yeah, we're definitely gonna make you watch Titanic next week. But I agree with Max, these two should just fuck it out." 

“Are you working as well or just gossiping all day?” They all flinch and Max turns around, Lando giving Seb a sheepish smile. 

“There are no guests here”, he defends himself and Alex nods, giving his boss an innocent look.

“They’re all still at lunch or at the pool, it’s a quiet afternoon”, he adds and Seb shakes his head amused. “Don’t worry, I was joking. What were you guys talking about, who should just fuck it out?”

“Hulk and Kevin”, Max says darkly and Seb laughs. “Oh yeah, I’ve heard about them. Daniel says they’re pining after each other for months now?”

“Absolutely and it’s getting worse every day.” Max grins. “I thought Romain told you about the ‘suck my balls honey’ incident?”

“He did.” Seb rolls his eyes. “Very extensively, actually. I was really close to throwing him overboard but I doubted Lewis would’ve appreciated that.”

Alex, Lando and Max laugh and Lando gives him a curious look. “Do you know anything more? I mean-“

“Apart from the fact that they're constantly at each others throats, insult each other and always seem to run into each other while they’re actually supposed to be working on completely different parts of the ship?”, Seb interrupts him and he grins. “No. But they should definitely talk with each other.”

“I can try talking with Hulk”, Max suggests and Seb nods. “Please do. They’re getting quite obvious at this point - I think even Kimi has noticed something.” 

“Don’t worry, Hulk and I are friends.” Max waves dismissively, lifting his cap to run a hand through his hair. It’s warm on deck but he enjoys the sea breeze that comes in through the open doors and he gives Seb a reassuring smile. “I’m sure I can talk some sense into Hulk.” 

"Good. Alex, a guest vomited on the Sky Deck, you might send someone there." Seb gives Alex a small smile and Alex pulls a face. "Was it Mr di Resta's son again?"

"How-"

"Because he keeps giving his son strawberry syrup for whatever reason and he always pukes from that", Alex finishes his sentence dryly and he sighs deeply, massaging his temples before reaching for the phone on his desk. "I'm gonna call Lance. The poor guy." 

Max and Lando exchange one look before they leave Alex and Seb on their own, definitely not wanting to know more about Mr di Resta's puking son and Max spots Daniel talking with a few guests on the middle deck, a charming smile on his face. Max debates if he should say something but before he can they run into a pretty pissed looking Kevin. 

"That absolute _bastard_!" Kevin is fuming and Max and Lando stare at him, a few guests curiously turning their heads. 

"...hi?", Max says slowly, raising his eyebrows and Kevin snorts. "Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna throw that asshole overboard, I swear to God!" 

"What ha-"

"Does he think it's funny to constantly annoy me at work?!" Kevin's blue eyes are sparkling with anger and Lando blinks confused. "How-"

"Just because he has one of the easiest jobs on the ship doesn't mean he has to bother me all the time!" Kevin snorts, mumbling a few Danish curses before turning around, leaving and Max and Lando stare after him speechless. When they turn around Daniel and their guests look just as overwhelmed and Max sighs, exchanging a quick look with Daniel, his boyfriend grinning. 

"He doesn't get it, does he?", Lando murmurs, still staring after Kevin and Max shakes his head. "Nope." 

Yeah, they really need to talk. 

-

It’s just that Max has a really hard time catching Hulk alone. They have a few busy days on sea and the bit of free time Max does get he spends with Daniel - he has his priorities after all. And his boyfriend is even busier than him. 

It’s only during a team dinner without any guests, the whole crew coming together before they’re arriving at King’s Wharf, Bermuda the next day, that Max gets a chance, sitting down with his plate next to Hulk at the table.

The dining room is filled with crew members, he sees Lewis, their captain, and Nico, his First Officer, chatting and laughing at the buffet and Max nudges Hulk gently. “You’re alright, mate?”

“Yeah.” Hulk looks relaxed, taking a sip from his water while eating his potatoes, giving him a quick smile and Max bites his lip, not sure how to bring this topic up. “Any plans for tomorrow?”

He sticks to Dutch, knowing that not many crew members actually speak their language and maybe that helps. Hulk doesn’t seem to question it though. 

“Not really.” He shrugs, still eating and looking completely unbothered. “Probably going to the beach a bit, just enjoying my free time, getting some peace and quiet. You?”

That’s a really good question. He will probably spend the day with Daniel, do some jet skiing or go swimming as well, just enjoying some Quality Couple Time but they haven’t talked about it yet, the past few days have been too busy. Max shrugs in response, pushing his food around - he’s hungry but he also doesn’t know how to bring up Kevin.

Hulk raises his eyebrow, a concerend look in his eyes and he looks like he wants to say something but before he can, they hear a familiar voice with an Australian accent behind them. 

“Hiya guys.” Daniel falls down next to Max, a huge grin on his face and when Max turns his head he gets why - his boyfriend brought Charles, Lando and - Max can’t hold back his own grin - Kevin.

He doesn’t miss the quick look Kevin throws at Hulk, Hulk tensing visibly and Charles nudges Kevin to the last free chair - next to Hulk. The Dane hesitantly sits down, as far away from Hulk as possible, picking in his salad. 

“How’s life?” Daniel is still grinning, clearly enjoying this and Hulk leans back, apparently not hungry anymore. “Terrible.”

“You need to get laid”, Charles points out with a smirk and Kevin chokes on his water, coughing loudly while Hulk stares at him incredulously. “Excuse me?”

“You’re always so tense.” Charles shrugs and Max sees how he leans a bit closer against Lando, his best friend blushing. “And I’m just saying that sex might help you.”

Hulk is still staring at him, Kevin looking like he wants to be anywhere else than here but still sneaking glances at Hulk from time to time and Max grins.

Hulk swallows, apparently deciding to ignore Charles, asking Max something about their route (something he definitely knows, they’ve talked about this just a few days ago) and Kevin bites his lips, eating his food.

It’s a rather awkward dinner after that.

-

“Alright, I’m done with them.” Max falls on his bed, they’re all squeezed in Daniel’s and his cabin (Seb allowed them to share this year) and his eyes wander over the people gathered in the room.

Lando and Charles are sitting on the armchair in the corner, Lando on Charles’ lap and Max is pretty sure they’re fucking at this point.

Interesting but not their current problem.

He decides to talk with Lando later about this, his best friend definitely owes him an explanation. 

Alex and George are on the other armchair, not as close as Charles and Lando but Alex is blushing while George looks completely relaxed and Daniel is next to Max on the bed, an arm around his waist, Max resting against his chest. 

It’s 2 am, they’re arriving in King’s Wharf in less than five hours and they should actually sleep.

It’s going to be an exhausting day but after that dinner, Max knows they have to do something and the others have agreed.

“So what’s the plan?”, George asks, stretching a little while giving Alex a small smile and Lando shrugs, blushing when Charles puts an arm around him. “We can’t just lock them in a room together, can we?”

“No but we could force them on a trip together tomorrow”, Daniel says slowly and Max turns around, raising his eyebrows impressed, slowly nodding. “That could actually work- babe, you’re a genius.”

“I know, thanks, Maxy.” Dan laughs and Alex frowns. “And how do you want to do that? I don't think they'll agree to it.”

“Oh, but we won’t tell them.” Charles smirks while his hand lazily runs through Lando’s hair - Max is pretty sure his best friend is half-heard, his sweatpants are not really hiding much.

“Then how-“

“Easy, two of us invite them separately and then just don’t show up.” Daniel grins and George smirks. “So Max talks with Hulk, that’s easy, but who asks Kevin? None of us is really close to him.”

“I can do that”, Lando pipes up, leaning back against Charles. “We talked a few times before and I think he likes me.”

“And no one can say no to Lando”, Charles adds and Max has the feeling he’s talking about personal experience here. Before they can get into that though Alex nods slowly, a grin spreading over his face. “That could actually work. How do we make sure they do talk though and don’t just bail?”

“Easy, we simply follow them.” Charles shrugs and Max nods. “Yeah, we rent a car, it’s not like they’d go far. But we arrange lunch on the beach for them, I’ll talk with Seb tomorrow morning.”

It’s 2 am, it might not be their best idea but they can still go through the details tomorrow morning. 

“Peachy, now that’s sorted, off to bed you all go, children, it’s late.” Daniel grins and while Charles flips him off, Lando rolls his eyes. “Yes, Dad.”

“Oi, I thought Max is the only one allowed to call Daniel ‘Daddy’?” George has a shit-eating grin on his chest and while Max stares at him with an open mouth, debating if anyone would notice when he throws George overboard (Alex would probably notice. Shame) Lando grins. “That’s why I said ‘Dad’. I don’t have a Daddy kink.” 

He quickly looks to Charles, blushing and Daniel laughs, his arm around Max’s neck. “No kink-shaming, Lando.” 

“I would never.” Lando grins before getting up, pulling Charles with him. “Let’s give our parents a rest, come on. They’re old.”

He laughs even more when Daniel throws a pillow after him, Max glaring at him and they flee from the cabin, Max rolling his eyes with a fond smile. They get bed-ready and when they’re back in bed Max cuddles up to Dan, a small smile on his face. “They’re such fucking children sometimes.”

“And yet we love them as if they were our own.” Daniel sighs dramatically, wrapping his arms around him and Max laughs quietly, burying his face in Dan’s chest. 

-

Seb is on board with their plan, happily organising a car that’ll bring Hulk and Kevin to the beach before taking care of lunch (Daniel suggested a picnic basket, including some pastries from Romain and Seb loves the idea) and Max gives Seb another quick smile before leaving, packing his things.

He greets a few guests who recognise him on deck and he quickly texts Lando, asking how their plan is going. Max has asked Hulk early in the morning if he’s up for a trip to the beach today and Hulk has agreed to meet him in the harbour later. Lando texts back that Kevin has agreed as well and Max hurries a bit before joining Daniel, Lando, Charles, Alex and George in the harbour.

“Ready?”, he asks while putting his sunglasses on and Daniel nods, grinning. “The car is already there.” 

He nods towards a black jeep that’s standing on the side of the road and they hide behind a few more cars. Kevin is approaching, looking a bit insecure while he leans against a street lamp, waiting and Alex clears his throat. 

“Antonio, the driver, knows and he’ll remind them that they’ll have to start driving on time”, he explains quietly. “So they, unfortunately, can’t wait.”

They’ve decided to not follow them - as long as they get into the car it should be fine and there’s nothing more they can do. They'll know anyway if it worked and Max just prays they don't kill each other because he has no idea how he's supposed to tell Lewis that two members of his crew suddenly disappeared. 

Max smirks when he sees Hulk approach, the German hesitating for a moment when he spots Kevin all alone before he joins them. They exchange a few words and while they can’t hear what they’re talking about it doesn’t seem too bad. 

They keep waiting for another ten minutes, Kevin and Hulk checking their phones occasionally (with Kevin trying to contact Lando and Hulk attempting to call Max) but then Antonio says something to them and they finally get in the car.

A collective sigh of relief goes through their group and Daniel grins. “So, Max, baby, dear, love of my life - and the rest - what are we doing today?”

-

Hulk can’t deny that he is a bit uncomfortable. He realised pretty quickly that Max set him up and while he doesn’t mind being alone with Kevin- he’s nervous.

They haven’t had the easiest start, yelled at each other too many times and he tries not to stare too much at Kevin who just pulled his shirt over his head, walking over the beach. He looks good shirtless and Hulk’s throat is a bit dry.

He takes a sip from the water bottle he brought just to be sure and he follows Kevin under a few palm trees - Antonio, their driver, said he’ll be back to bring them some lunch later and Hulk drops his stuff on the white sand, letting his phone slide into his backpack. 

He has to admit it’s gorgeous here with the turquoise water, the white sand and all the palm trees, the sun burning down on them and the waves gently swapping on the flat shore. The beach is, apart from them, completely empty and he takes a deep breath.

He loves his job and he still doesn't regret quitting his job in one of Frankfurt's biggest casinos to join the crew of their ship. And he loves his fellow crew members. He really does, Max and he even became really close friends and there’s nothing better than travelling the world nearly all year. 

But his relationship with Kevin is ... complicated. They’re arguing a lot, they’ve had tension since they’ve met for the first time (which happened during their first crew dinner and Kevin has accidentally spilt all of his food over Hulk's jeans - needless to say that they've both haven't exactly been happy about that) and while they avoid arguing in front of the guests now (Hulk is sure he learned at least ten new French swear words when Romain yelled at them) the mood is still tense.

“You’re coming?”, Kevin calls out and Hulk’s head snaps up. Kevin is standing ankle-deep in the water, running a hand through his hair and he looks like a fucking swimsuit model with his muscles and the tattoos- life is not fair. Hulk nods, fishing for his sunglasses and he pulls his shirt over his head before making his way to the water.

Kevin gives him a tentative smile when he joins him, Hulk doesn't miss how his eyes wander over his body and he holds back a smile. The water is warm but refreshing and Hulk clears his throat. “You do know they set us up, right?”

There’s no use in beating around the bush. 

“Mate, I knew the second Lando asked me if I wanted to explore King’s Wharf with him. The kid’s bad at lying”, Kevin replies dryly and Hulk raises his eyebrows. “If you knew why did you come?”

He only realises how rude that sounded after he said it but Kevin just shrugs, coming a bit closer, not looking fazed by his harshness. Hulk guesses this is why he is so drawn to him - no matter how rude he is, Kevin always talks back, always challenges him and calls him out or just straight out ignores it. 

It’s why they argued so many times on deck. And got cursed by their maitre d’ hotel. 

They’re a bit further in the ocean now, the water reaching up until their hips, gently splashing around them and Kevin smiles. “Because I figured I like spending time with you alone.”

He steps forward, closing the distance between them and before Hulk even realises it, he kisses him. Hulk escapes a surprised noise before he kisses him back, putting his arms behind Kevin’s neck and pulling him closer, wanting nothing more than to get some skin on skin contact, to feel him. 

He never thought he would be that bold and his heart doubles in size. 

Kevin tastes like sun and saltwater and coffee and Hulk involuntarily smiles into the kiss, one hand in Kevin’s wet hair. He’s warm, his lips soft and kissing him feels better than Hulk has ever imagined.

His stomach is fluttering, he feels like he’s floating a little and his cheeks hurt from smiling so much. He instinctively puts his hands below Kevin’s legs, Kevin getting the hint and wrapping his legs around Hulk’s body, putting his hands behind his neck, deepening the kiss. 

Hulk knows they’ve had their differences but this just feels _right_ and they keep kissing in the North Atlantic Ocean with not a single care in the world. 

When they return to the ship later that day, after hours in the water, a lunch which consisted of a picnic below palm trees and making out in the warm sand after, they’re holding hands and Hulk ignores Max’s knowing smirk, not able to stop smiling. 

He does flip him off subtly but for once, he’s just happy.

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on tumblr @ [verstappened](https://verstappened.tumblr.com/) if you want to talk more about the mess that the drivers would be on a cruise ship lmao 
> 
> Kudos and comments are very appreciated thanksss 💛


End file.
